Heart in a Headlock
by la luxuria
Summary: No matter how much he hurt her, Lucy always forgave Edmund and loved him unconditionally and cared for him constantly. It was unexplainable. He had her heart in a headlock. Edmund/Lucy. Not a fan? Don't read it.
1. I'm Sorry, Lu

Heart In A Headlock

**Heart In A Headlock**

**Disclaimer:** I disclaim!

**Author's Note:** I started this fic back on a different username, and it's always sort of stuck in my head. I have a feeling it will stay with me forever unless I do it justice. It's incest-y, so if you are not a fan, don't read it. Or if you do read it and feel it's necessary to review, please keep the flaming to a minimum. My Narnia fanfic is pretty much strictly movie-based since I haven't read the books since third grade. Anyway, enjoy!

**Chapter One:** I'm Sorry, Lu

Clear blue skies. Not a cloud in sight. It hadn't rained in days, and quite frankly, Edmund Pevensie was growing tired of the sunshine. Edmund was sitting glumly at the window seat watching the very little to nonexistent traffic in the street below. Abruptly his younger sister Lucy came dashing indoors from the backyard, hollering his name. "Ed! Edmund, come look at what I found!"

He craned his neck to see her. He glowered at her with his usual grumpy expression as she dragged him outdoors into the warm sunlight (he hated the sun at that proper moment) and to the cement by the shelter built for protection against any airborne nuclear attack (the war was another thing Edmund hated, yet seemed to be dragged into). There Lucy flopped down onto her stomach with a lopsided grin spreading across her round face.

Tilting his head to the side, Edmund inquired in a snarky tone, "What is it that you found?"

Lucy exclaimed, "An anthill! Look at them all, Ed! There's so many, and they're all so busy! They move so fast, too!" She was entirely engrossed in awe at the conventional creatures. Edmund, on the other hand, was not. He could not figure what was so great about a bunch of ants. Lucy had seen them before, but he guessed her weekend was a total bore too. Or maybe she was merely trying to annoy him. He wouldn't put it past her - she did it all the time and did a wonderful job of it.

Edmund sat down on the pavement and began plucking up grass from the side of the cement. It was then that a small, hopping form caught his eye. He watched it, a brown toad, with a mischievous smirk creeping onto his lips. He glanced sideways at Lucy, who was still watching ants, and leaned forward with his arm outstretched. Placing his hand flat on the ground, palm face-up, he waited. Within seconds the toad hopped onto his hand, and he immediately closed his other hand over it, muttering, "Perfect."

Slowly he got to his feet and stood behind Lucy. In one swift action he pulled back the collar of her shirt and dropped the toad down her back. Feeling the slimy and bumpy toad hop inside her shirt, Lucy Jumped to her feet and screamed, grabbing at her back. She was too afraid to reach under and get it, so she just ran about the yard screaming. The fear was apparent in her eyes and she was on the verge of tears, but Edmund was doubling over with laughter.

In time Peter and Susan came running out. Peter watched the scene for a split second before advancing on Edmund with a furious look glinting in his eyes. "What did you do to her?" he roared. He grabbed Edmund's shirt collar and pulled the younger boy closer to his face.

Afraid he would be hit, Edmund ditched his smirk and hurriedly explained, "I put a toad down her back, that's all!"

Peter gave him a nasty look and shoved him on the ground. He then ran off to help Lucy with the toad. Edmund sat up and brushed dirt off his shirt. He looked up only to meet the piercing eyes of his older sister Susan.

Peter had managed to get the toad untangled from Lucy's red shirt, and he carried her sobbing form over to Susan, who took her into the house to comfort her. Giving Edmund a last few words, "When are you going to grow up?" he followed the two girls inside.

Edmund gathered to his feet and inhaled. Despite almost getting battered by Peter, all he could do was laugh. It was funny! He laughed aloud to himself for a while before heading toward the house. Casting the sun a dark glance, he shut the door tightly behind him.

The rest of the day Lucy hid in hers and Susan's bedroom, playing with her assorted toys. Edmund spent the rest of the afternoon building a track of books through the living room and then knocking them down, observing the chain effect it created. At dinner Lucy wouldn't even meet his eyes, and he started to feel guilty when she declined his offer to play checkers. Peter and Susan didn't help either with the way they kept staring until Edmund glanced up, at which time they would turn away with expressions of utmost disappointment. Even their mother gave him a slight frown when Lucy moped away to her bedroom after dinner. Susan must have tattled, Edmund thought to himself.

That night while in bed, all Edmund could think about was Lucy's sad face. And Peter's words. "When are you going to grow up?" He tossed and turned in his bed. Maybe he could just say sorry and she could give him a hug like she always did - as much as he disliked hugs. Finally Edmund sat up and went to the bathroom, making a face at Peter's sleeping form on the way out.

When he finished in the bathroom, Edmund sulked out into the dark living room and sat down on the sofa, head in hands. He sat there with his eyes closed in peace for a moment or two until he heard the soft thud of a door closing. He watched the doorway and soon a small, dark figure appeared. Lucy. Edmund sat up a bit and called out to her, "Lucy?"

She made her way over to Edmund and stood in front of him. Her sadness was still present, and maybe even a little anger. Edmund sighed and hoisted her up off the floor, setting her on his lap. "Luc.."

Lucy interrupted him with a question that made Edmund's stomach twist into knots, "Why are you mad at me, Edmund?" Her voice was full of confusion.

Edmund furrowed his brow and tried to find his voice, "Me? Mad at you?" He paused. "I'm not. I thought you were mad at me, Luc."

She shook her head, "No. I wasn't mad at you, Ed. I just wondered why you were so mean to me today. What did I do wrong?"

"You didn't do anything wrong," Edmund quickly replied. "It was just…a joke." He realized how pathetic that sounded now. It made him sound like such a bully. A bad brother.

"Oh," was her soft response.

Edmund brushed her brown hair back and muttered, "I'm sorry, Lu." He wrapped his arms around her small body.

Lucy smiled, and it was obvious even in the dark. "It's okay, Ed."

Edmund carefully leaned back and lay down with Lucy. He pressed his face into her hair. She rolled over, pressing her elbow into his gut for a bit, and then nestled her head on his shoulder, gazing up at him. He gazed back at her and placed a kiss on her jaw line. She kissed him back, except hers was by his nose, just under his eye. He grinned and tightened his arms around her, closing his eyes and relaxing.

Her head on his chest warmed him, and the words, "I love you, Lu," formed in his head. He must've said them aloud because she murmured, "I love you too, Ed."

Sleep drifted over them like a blanket, and there on the sofa they laid for the next seven hours until daylight.


	2. The Way It Would Be

Heart In A Headlock

**Heart In A Headlock**

**Disclaimer:** I disclaim, betch.

**Chapter Two:** The Way It Would Be

2:49. Fourteen year old Lucy Pevensie laid awake in her bedroom. The quiet bedroom that she no longer shared with her older sister Susan. Susan had gone off to the University as Peter had done, and though the two still stayed at home on weekends and holidays, Lucy could hardly call that 'still living at home'. Most of this was a good thing. There was no annoyance due to Susan's constant corrections and scolding, and less fighting in the house since Peter was not around to keep sixteen year old Edmund in line.

This was an entirely other subject. Lucy worried about Edmund. He had been getting into all sorts of trouble, and he did a good job of keeping their mother at bay. Lucy, however, could not be fooled. She had gotten Edmund to admit his actions, and she pieced together the story from there. Edmund had a friend at school that Lucy was sure had convinced Edmund to spend time with a crowd of older teenagers who definitely were not having study sessions all those nights Edmund stayed out with them.

It was in the middle of the heated summer, so Edmund had been managing to sneak out with his 'friend' without being detected by their mother. Lucy wanted to believe Edmund was strong enough to refuse this person influencing him to do improper things, but he was just a teenager and therefore under another influence - peer pressure. Or at least that was what the teachers at her school had been saying this previous year.

Lucy rolled over from her stomach onto her back. She wondered when he would get home. Where he was and what he was doing. She worried, mostly, would he come in again stumbling and reeking of ale? Drunk. Lucy had gotten angry at him that night. He had been groggy and morbid, and she did not like that Edmund. She also hadn't liked mopping up after him every time he got sick the following morning.

Sighing aloud in her dim room, Lucy flung back her sticky sheets from her hot body and went to make herself a glass of warm milk, despite the blistering heat. She then used the bathroom before heading back to bed and clearing the thoughts of Edmund from her head. Finally sleep started to drift over her.

Edmund limped through his damp, dark backyard to the kitchen door. He fumbled in the dirt behind his mother's flowers for the spare key and found it, unlocking the door as quietly as possible.

Nicholas was no longer a friend of his. Some friend he was to begin with, anyway, Edmund bitterly thought. First he had bullied him into smoking and drinking unauthorized beverages and breaking his curfew. Then it was trying to get him to steal firecrackers from a shop downtown. While refusing Nicholas had seemed like the right thing to do, Edmund was no longer so sure since he was sporting a large bruise, a cut lip, and a snapped arm.

He limped into the bathroom and looked at himself. His high cheek bone was bruising pretty badly, and the gash on his lower lip looked more painful than it actually was. His clothes were ripped and bloody, and he decided it would be best to just throw them out. Edmund tried to undress, however, and found that his arm (the injured one) was painfully immobile. It must be broken, he thought to himself. He cringed and whimpered. He needed someone to help him. But he was not about to wake his mother.

Lucy had almost slipped into a deep sleep when she was nudged awake. She lurched forward and stared to the side. It was just Edmund. She could breathe a little easier. He spoke to her, "Luc, I need your help."

She drowsily followed him into the bathroom, where he turned on the light, temporarily blinding her. Then she saw the state he was in. Her first reaction was to gasp and cover her mouth. "Edmund…what happened?"

Edmund's cheeks grew red and he avoided meeting her eyes as he explained, "Nicholas…I told him…well, I told him something he didn't want to hear. Let's just leave it at that." He gazed at his arm, "I think he broke my arm…"

Lucy reached for the doorknob behind her, "I have to go get Mum." She was panicking and quite unaware of it.

He hissed, "No! Are you barmy or just a total dolt? We can't let her know!" He added, "At least not yet." He would have to tell his mother eventually.

She narrowed her eyes and raised her voice a bit, "Don't call me stupid if you want my help! And you could be seriously injured, Ed! Mum knows better than I!"

Edmund shushed her, "Shut your fat mouth, you little…" He sighed at her indifference toward him. "Just help me out of these clothes."

Lucy stood rooted to her spot for a moment before taking a step toward her brother. She slowly undid the buttons on his shirt. The blood from the cuts on his face had seeped through his thin shirt and was caked on his skin. She gingerly helped him out of the shirt and ordered, "Here, sit on the edge of the bathtub." He did so as she wet a washcloth under warm water. She turned to him with washcloth in hand and gently scrubbed his face clean, being extra careful around the bruised area. She went back to the sink and rinsed the cloth out, running it under more warm water.

Edmund sat on the tub with his eyes closed. It was all he could do to keep from crying. he did not know if it was the pain from his arm, or the mixture of emotions he was feeling toward Lucy right now.

Lucy placed the soothingly warm cloth on his chest and wiped away the red, smeared blood. She scrubbed all the way down to his waistline and then repeated her rinsing process. She then turned Edmund at an angle where she could reach all of his back and washed his back, even though there was not a spot of blood on it.

"Wait here and I'll go get your pajamas." She came back with his blue pajamas and helped him into them. When she was finished cleaning the bloody mess she had created, she turned to Edmund, who was staring at her.

There was this light about Lucy. There had always been, but Edmund had decided at that exact moment that he had never taken notice of it before. He smiled faintly at her, but it looked like a funny face in contrast to his tears. Lucy wrapped her arms around him and he hugged her back with his good arm. "Lucy…" he croaked.

"It's okay," she said. "I know you're sorry. It's okay." He kissed her forehead with a flooding sensation of relief, and he leaned on her for support the whole way to his bedroom. Once she had him in his bed, Lucy hovered a bit before leaning over to place a kiss on his cut-up lips. Automatically he reached up and held the back of her head and tried to return the kiss the best he could. She pulled away, leaving him with the tickle of her breath on his skin.

Lucy unmade Peter's bed and climbed in. She didn't want to leave Edmund alone. Because he wasn't. Edmund had Lucy. The way it should be. The way it had been. The way it would be.


	3. Stranger Danger

Heart In A Headlock

**Heart In A Headlock**

**Disclaimer: **Oh God. Ugh. Grumble. Groan. Just shut up.

**Chapter Three: **Stranger Danger!

September was a poor excuse for a month, at least in Lucy Pevensie's humble opinion. Especially the September of the current year. It was still ungodly hot – almost as stifling hot as it had been in the very summer months of June and July – but the worst of it all was that she was now back in school and had to sit in a classroom with no air circulation whatsoever, at least fifteen other students, and to top it all off, a scratchy new school uniform. It had been almost two months since Edmund had broken his arm, or rather gotten his arm broken by another person, but as much as that one night had brought them together, the consequences of Edmund's actions had tore them apart once again. Because, and Lucy could now state this in a matter-of-factly manner, once their mum had discovered Ed's injury and the cause of it, he had been grounded and punished severely. Surely he should have known there would be consequences, but nevertheless he had blamed Lucy (it was not her fault her mother had been very _persuasive_) for his probation of constant chores and never leaving the house for the rest of the summer for a bit of leisure.

Lucy's attitude toward her brother only grew glummer as she was forced to sit in a classroom away from him for several hours during the day. She could not see him nor sit next to him just for the sole purpose of being close to him, even if he glared at her and muttered profanity followed by the word "snitch" under his breath.

As she sat in class she doodled on her paper, thoughts completely orbiting around her brother, she wondered how long he could really be mad at her. If she had not told her mother about his arm when she had, heck, his arm wouldn't be half as healed as it was now. Lucy nodded and smiled briefly. Her smile faltered when she looked down at her paper and saw her sketch of a heart now enclosed a certain name – Ed.

Bloody hell, school was really dimming the wits out of her. She needed to get out of here. She needed an escape. She used her class's lunch break as her one free opportunity and made a run for it once she passed the girl's lavatory and was out the front doors of her school. It wasn't until she was dodging cars and watching out for pesky neighbors around her house that she realized she was _actually_ doing something very bad, something against the rules, something only her brother would do. Skipping school.

By the by, she continued her fast-paced walk down the street, round the corner, and up the path to the back door of her house, unlocking it with the hidden key. She froze as she closed the door quietly behind her and listened. It was a good thing her mother worked all day long.

Lucy dropped her books on the kitchen table and popped her shoes and socks off and let the cold, wood floor beneath her feet cool her. Why on Earth was it so damn hot outside? She stood in the middle of the kitchen and pondered. "What now?" she thought allowed. She had gotten what she wanted – she had gotten away from school, but Edmund was still _there_ and she was _here_. She frowned. Finally all she could think of was to indulge herself with a good novel on the sofa in the den, and there she sat for the next hour, until she heard the kitchen door creak open.

Abruptly she closed her book and stood up, all the blood rushing from her head, causing her to feel lightheaded and off balance for an instance. She waited in silence, although she was almost certain whomever was walking into her house could hear her heart beating out of her chest. Was it her mother? Would she be found out? Would she be punished?

She narrowed her eyes against the dim light of her lamp to focus on the dark doorway from the kitchen. Why was it so dark in here? She glanced to her left. The curtains were closed. Mother, why have you drawn the curtains?

To keep the heat out, of course.

But bloody Scots, she couldn't see! A tall, dark figure emerged and froze in the doorway. Lucy's breath caught in her chest and she felt every muscle in her body tense. That was _not_ her mother. Her eyes widened and her jaw fell open slightly. She parted her lips and did the first thing that came to her mind – scream (Because, as she was taught at school, if you are feeling threatened by an unknown person, the first thing you should do is yell for help, and then try to distance yourself from the potential attacker. Or did the distancing come first?).

"STRANGER DANGER!"

Suddenly the light overhead flicked on, and Lucy's panicked eyes met the pair of dark, confused eyes that belonged to her brother Edmund.

"What the bloody hell are you doing here, Lucy?" Wrinkles formed on his forehead as he deepened the frown on his face. "Did you really just scream 'stranger danger'?"

Lucy felt her face grow beet red. She swallowed and nodded her head. "I didn't know it was you, Ed. But I could ask you the same thing! Why are you skipping class?"

Edmund smirked momentarily and opened his mouth to dish a hot retort right back to his little sister but seemed to remember he was not supposed to be on speaking terms with her and narrowed his eyes. He closed his mouth again and ground his teeth together, setting his jaw in an angry manner. He exhaled loudly.

Lucy bit down her bottom lip and shivered. She did not like it when her brother looked at her like that. He looked like a menace. Scary. Creepy. Lucy rested her gaze on his shoulder instead of his face. "Still mad at me, then, Ed?"

He answered her question by turning on his heel and heading toward the stairs. Lucy hurried after him and called out, "Oh, c'mon, Edmund! You're being ridiculous! It was almost two months ago and you're fine now!" Edmund shot a dark look over his shoulder. Lucy halted for a brief moment but then continued her pursuit. "Besides, we both cut school today, so you should forgive me and we can do something fun!" She grabbed onto the railing of the stairwell as she climbed up the wood stairs after her brother.

Edmund stopped dead in his tracks and turned around on the stairs, an evil sort of grin plastered on his pale, freckled face. "Oh, I have all sorts of fun with your name on 'em, Luc. Like this, for example." He flashed another wicked grin at her.

She wrinkled up her nose in confusion. "What?"

He continued to grin. She cocked her head to the side. He titled his the opposite way and glared at her. And then, without warning, he put out a hand and gave her shoulder a hard shove, sending her backwards. She flailed about and screamed, "Edmund!" She felt her feet and legs give out, and gravity decided to let her land on her left hip. She let out a tremendous cry of pain but slammed her hands down on the wood stairs and forced herself back up again.

Covering her injured hip with her left hand, Lucy pointed at Edmund with her right hand. "I should have beaten you downstairs when I thought you were an intruder!"

Edmund rolled his eyes. "Beaten me with what, your bare hands?" He turned around and finished his trip to the top of the stairs. Lucy followed like some sort of lost puppy. "Yes!"

He laughed. She frowned. He continued to laugh in her face. She bit on her bottom lip in a pout. He stopped laughing and stared at her droopy expression. "I needed a good laugh today. Thanks, Lucy."

Lucy crossed her arms and made a disgusted expression. "I hate you."

Edmund's dark eyes widened a bit. "What?"

"I said I don't like you very much."

"That's not what you said."

"Yes it was."

"I hate you too, so don't worry."

Lucy gasped and glared up at his face, which was void of any real emotion. He glared back down his nose at her. He raised his eyebrows slightly to mock her and to challenge her to say something.

She blinked. "Fine." With that, she spun around, her long hair whipping him in the face, and headed for her bedroom, chin in the air.

Edmund squeezed his eyes shut as her hair whipped across his face. It smelled nice. Like raspberries. He opened his eyes and grabbed his retreating sister by the wrist, spinning her back around so that she was facing him, a dumbfounded look on her face. He stared down into her round face, her big eyes, and before he could stop himself, he pressed his lips to hers. Her entire body froze in his grasp and she stood there, eyes wide open, mouth covered by Edmund's and for the first time in her life discovered that her brain wasn't forming any real thought or response at all. Edmund moved his hands to her neck and she snapped out of her trance, willing herself to have a reaction. Her mind told her to tell him to stop, but the thudding in her chest and the sudden increase in body temperature told her otherwise. Finally she shoved him away and stared at him in utter shock and confusion. "I…I, uh, I…" she was feeling very lightheaded. She couldn't catch her breath. "Just, no." She turned sideways and couldn't decide whether to go down the stairs or to her bedroom.

Edmund licked his lips and swallowed hard – he was also a bit winded from the kiss as well. "No, no, no, no, no," he said and grabbed Lucy's waist before she could get away from him. His lips found hers once more. She returned the kiss for a fraction of a second, but then her conscience took hold of her and she stopped responding to the kiss when he rolled his tongue along hers, his mouth totally covering hers in this sudden moment of passion. Or lust. Ed really didn't know which it was.

Lucy didn't shove him this time, but just merely stepped backwards, stumbling a bit. She shook her head frantically, small tears forming in the corners of her eyes. "Edmund, we can't do…that." She hastily wiped at her eyes before the tears could stain her cheeks and she paused. Unable to meet his eyes, she stared at the floor and miserably muttered, "I'm going to finish my book." She descended the stairs very slowly, as if some invisible force were trying to pull her backwards, back to the top of the stairs where Edmund stood, staring after his sister.

Once she was at the bottom of the stairs and out of view, Edmund rushed across the hall and into his bedroom. He shut the door and leaned against it, sinking to the floor, head in hands. He began to hyperventilate. He was crying. Why? He had screwed it up. Somehow he had screwed it all up. Lucy probably hated him now. But he just couldn't…help it. He banged his head against the door.

Downstairs, Lucy sat on the edge of her seat on the couch, hands folded in her lap, staring unseeingly at the wall across the room. She licked her lips. Edmund's kiss had felt strange, strange indeed, but this rushing, swooping feeling in her chest was not strange to Lucy. It should have felt strange, but it did not. Which made the situation as a whole just simply one word – strange.

Strange. But without the danger.


	4. Keep Keeping Me Awake

Heart In A Headlock

**Heart In A Headlock**

**Disclaimer: **Disclaimed, hos.

**Author's Note: **So I've realized that this story is pretty alternate-universe. I mean, they're not all dead and I don't have any plans of including Narnia (as awesome of a place as it is, I'm a big coward and couldn't risk writing a Narnia scene badly). I also am realizing it's very movie based. I could just go grab the books off my shelf upstairs and refresh my memory but…yeah, no. Too lazy. Nevertheless, I hope you enjoy it.

Oh, and yes. Edmund has sleep apnea. Clearly.

**Chapter Four: **Keep Keeping Me Awake

"How was school?" Mrs. Pevensie pressed her children to speak at the dinner table in the hours following the kiss. Neither of them showed any signs of speaking at all, and their mother could not quite figure out what was supposed to be going on. She assumed the children had just bickered and were now in the stage of ignoring each other. Edmund sat slouched in his chair, fork dangling out of his left hand. He picked at his plate of beef hash absentmindedly, occasionally glancing across the table at Lucy.

Lucy sat opposite her brother, and much unlike him, she sat with her usual good posture. Her neck was bent slightly to the right and she stared straight down into her food as she ate and did not dare look anywhere else. She chewed, swallowed, set her fork down, took a sip of water, picked up her fork again, and resumed eating. She repeated this cycle for several minutes until her mother asked how school had been. Lucy hesitated and waited to see if Edmund planned on answering.

There was silence.

Lucy finished chewing and swallowed. "Was fine," she answered. "We're learning about the Napoleonic Wars in history." She figured this answer would satisfy her mother's curiosity and need to make small talk at the supper table, but she did not wish to sit around and be further inquired to the point at which it was obvious she did not actually go to school today, so she put her fork down and asked, "Is there dessert? I'm feeling a bit full."

Mrs. Pevensie sat at her end of the table and watched her daughter. "I baked a batch of biscuits yesterday if you'd like some of those. But otherwise, no." She focused her attention on her son. "How about you, Edmund, would you like a biscuit or two?"

Edmund shook his head. "No thanks, Mum."

Lucy could feel Edmund's eyes on her, and she could feel her skin crawling. Quickly she muttered, "May I be excused?" and without waiting for her mother's answer, she stood up, pushed in her chair, and darted down the hall and up the stairs. She grabbed her pajamas out of her bedroom and headed for the bathroom, where she slowly changed into her nightgown and pulled her fuzzy pink bathrobe over her cold arms. Despite the heat of earlier hours, Lucy's body now felt freezing. She took a long look at herself in the mirror. Her face was quite red, actually, and felt hot to the touch. "Perhaps I have a fever." If she was sick, it would explain her odd behavior as of recent. And she could blame her actions on being ill.

Quickly Lucy pulled her long, brown hair into a ponytail and went back into her bedroom, where she climbed into bed. She laid on her side, staring at her sister Susan's empty bed and tried to rely on the clock's ticking to ease her into a dreamless sleep. 

Sleep never came and she couldn't hear the clock at all. It seemed to have stopped. Maybe the second hand was stuck, like her brain was stuck on thoughts of – "UGH," she groaned and rolled onto her back.

When Lucy flicked on the small lamp on her desk, the hour and minute hands told her it was a little after eleven o'clock. She had lain awake for the last four hours. She blinked wearily at the little clock and turned around so that she was facing the door. She strode across the small room in her bare feet and opened the door quietly, crossed the hall, and opened the door to Edmund's bedroom as silently as possible.

What was she doing? She shouldn't be in here, she told herself. It was a bad idea to encourage whatever was happening to herself and her big brother, and she could not kid herself into thinking it was only a spot of sibling bonding, something that was normal, because it was clearly not normal. They were both old enough to understand the possibility of what _could_ happen if they allowed themselves to take it too far, and while this thought scared Lucy to death, she still found herself crossing the dark room. She sat down on Peter's bed, which was pushed right up under the windows. Edmund almost always slept with all the windows wide open, and the wind had picked up since nightfall. It played with Lucy's hair as she lay on the made-up bed and watched the dark, sleeping form on the other side of the room.

She listened. She could hear his breathing – it was slow and hollow as if the air he was breathing was being sucked into an infinite abyss. Somewhere in that infinite abyss was Edmund Pevensie's heart, and a lump formed in Lucy's throat as the desire to press her ear to his chest just to hear his heartbeat washed over her.

Lucy sat up and crossed the room. She kneeled down by Edmund's bedside and held her breath, listening for the sound of his heartbeat. She was being daft, surely there was no way she could hear it from here, but maybe, just maybe she wouldn't have to touch him. She closed her eyes as the wind from the windows swept through her hair and tickled the back of her neck.

Edmund was lying on his back, left arm outstretched off the edge of the bed, so that his fingers were just inches away from the place where Lucy knelt. Lucy couldn't _see_ this, of course, because it was so dark, but she knew she was too close. She shouldn't be encouraging this. So why was she?

Suddenly Edmund's breathing halted. Lucy's eyes fluttered open, every single muscle in her body freezing. Was her brother awake? Was he dead? Before she had time to panic, Lucy heard his slow, light breathing resume, and she let out a loud sigh of relief. Her loud exhalation startled Edmund from his sleep, and he stirred in his bed, sitting up slightly. Lucy stumbled backward, away from the bed, and landed on her butt, right in the middle of the floor.

Edmund called out, "Lucy?" His eyes focused a little and he saw a dark form sitting on the floor. "What are you doing?"

Lucy crawled over to his bedside and rested her chin on the mattress. She sighed. "You were keeping me up."

"_I_ was keeping you up? How was I…what?"

"Not you, really. I was just thinking about you." She swallowed, hard, and blinked. A slight discomfort took over her, and she regretted leaving her bedroom. There was silence when it was Edmund's turn to speak.

Lucy blinked back the tears forming in her eyes. "I'm sorry," she muttered. She stood up. "I'll leave."

"No, you don't have to," Edmund called after her, and immediately she felt his strong arms around her waist and chest, pulling her back. She turned around and pressed her face into Edmund's chest, her hot tears soaking through his shirt. Edmund pressed against her and wrapped her fully in his arms. "What's wrong, Lu?"

"Don't you hate me?"

Edmund pressed his face into her hair. "No, never. It's the total opposite, Lu." He paused. "But I shouldn't have kissed you. I'm sorry if I confused you." Lucy frantically shook her head and lifted her head, causing Edmund to bang his chin on her forehead. She stood up on her tiptoes and pressed her lips to his, this time more willingly than the time before.

Edmund returned her kiss. In a low voice he muttered, "You're…right. We…shouldn't…do this." He kissed her between each word and steered her back toward his bed with his hands on her waist.

Lucy inhaled unevenly and replied, "I don't care if it's wrong, Ed. I don't care anymore." She had her arms wrapped around his neck as he softly pushed her down onto the bed, where they then rested on his chest as she kissed him. Her fingertips played with the bottom of his shirt and lightly stroked the skin below his bellybutton. Edmund groaned and pulled away from the kiss, pressing a firm hand over her mouth. "Not now, Luc. Just…sleep now, okay? Go to sleep." Lucy nodded and he removed his hand. She laid her head on his chest and her hand found his under the covers, where their fingers tightly intertwined. The sound of Edmund's heartbeat lulled Lucy to sleep, and for the first time in a long time, her brother hadn't kept her awake. 


	5. Better Than You

**Heart in a Headlock**

**Disclaimer: **Kamikaze!!

**Author's Note: **New chapter! Sorry it took so long. I'm feeling moody, so therefore, moody chapter. Cheers.

**Chapter Five: **Better Than You

Halloween. It was Lucy's second favorite holiday next to Christmas, and even if Mum claimed that fourteen was stretching the age limit on trick-or-treating, Lucy and her friends still dressed up in costumes every year and loaded their bags with candy. This year Lucy and her best friend Charlotte from down the street had dressed indentically as Snow White and went around the neighborhood after school until Charlotte had to be back at her house by seven o'clock. After Lucy walked Charlotte home, she strolled back to her house and waited patiently on the front step for her brother Edmund. Ed had agreed to take her trick-or-treating a little longer. "Meet me on the front step a little after seven," he had told her. So she waited.

She waited and waited. Once or twice she ran in the front door and checked the time on the clock. The last time she had checked, which was nearly twenty minutes ago, it was almost eight o'clock. Lucy stared down at the chocolates and hard candies in her bag. She had opened some while she was waiting, but now she had lost all her appetite.

She'd been had. Stood up, as Susan called it, and by her own brother. And here she had thought things between them were going so well. She smiled to herself. She should have known better. Bitterly Lucy reached down and pulled off her slippers and rubbed the soles of her feet, already sore from walking up and down the streets earlier. About that time, she heard muffled voices and laughter coming in her direction on her side of the street. She glanced up. From the light from the street lamps, it was easy to spot Edmund in his group of friends – he was one of the two tallest boys there, and he wasn't the fat one, obviously.

Lucy stared blankly at the concrete sidewalk in front of her as the gang neared her house. She heard a bunch of them bid Edmund farewell. "See you tomorrow, Ed." Lucy watched as Edmund handed a brown bottle to one of his friends, "Better take that, my mum'll throw a fit." Lucy gritted her teeth. A couple more boys said goodbye, and the group was on their way down the street.

Edmund turned and started up the path to the house but immediately halted when he saw Lucy sitting on the steps. She heard him mutter, "Oh, shit." He shoved his hands in his pockets and slowly approached his sister. "Hey, Lucy, I-" He hardly got her name out before she stood up and slapped him across the face. Briskly she turned and stomped into the house, barefoot, without her candy.

Ed silently rubbed his cheek and almost as quickly as she had hit him and taken off, he picked up her bag of candy and her heeled shoes and followed suit. He closed the door behind him and tossed her candy and the shoes on the table next to the door and glanced up at the stairs just as he heard Lucy's door slam shut. He popped his shoes off and sprinted across the living room and up the stairs, taking two at a time. When he got to Lucy's door, he hesitated with his fist on the wood, and then, without knocking, just entered and closed the door tightly behind him.

Lucy was standing in front of her closet, frantically ripping the clothes off the hooks, as if she were looking for something to wear to an important event, instead of just tearing her room apart because she was furious with her brother. Edmund swallowed and cleared his throat. "You…you look good. Your costume…it's…" he trailed off and reached up to scratch the back of his head. Lucy whipped around and glared at him.

"Lucy, come on. So I forgot, so what? It's not like we can't go next year."

She said nothing. He could only hear her soft breathing. "Look, my friends and I, we went and got ice cream and something to drink, and then I-"

"How many did you have, Edmund?"

Edmund narrowed his eyes. "What?"

"How many beers, Edmund, how many beers did you drink? HOW MANY DID IT TAKE FOR YOU TO GET SO DRUNK YOU FORGOT ABOUT ME?"

He sighed loudly and rolled his eyes. "It had nothing to do with that."

Lucy stomped over to where Edmund was standing and poked her finger forcefully into his chest. "That's all it had to do with. You are an idiot! You think having the bloody lights beaten out of you and breaking your arm would have convinced you that those people are _not_ your friends, but NO! You only had me convinced that you could make better choices than that. So I guess that makes me an idiot too!"

Edmund opened his mouth to argue, but Lucy just raised her voice and continued poking him. "You have me running in circles for you, Edmund, and it's exhausting! I don't get anything in return for it, and it feels like someone punched through my ribcage and ripped out my heart and then STABBED IT WITH A FORK REPEATEDLY!" Lucy's vision blurred and she swatted at her eyes, only to discover she was crying. Ugh, she didn't _want_ to be crying, she shouldn't have been crying at all. Edmund wasn't worth tears.

"Lucy," Edmund pleaded, "stop it." He reached out and grabbed her arms, pulling her closer to him. She jolted backward and emitted a scream that sounded like an animal being strangled. "No, you asshole!"

Edmund's eyes widened. He had never really heard Lucy use any truly harmful cuss words before, and her face was now contorted with rage, which just made the whole thing too serious to laugh about.

Lucy's jaw clenched. "I," she hissed, "am better than this." She raised her chin defiantly. "I am better than _you_." The last word came out as a whisper.

Edmund could only stare blankly at her cold eyes. Lucy pointed at the door behind him. She didn't say anything else. Edmund couldn't think of anything else to say, so he turned and left Lucy's room. He shut the door behind him and stood in the middle of the hallway, frozen.

She was right.

She was better than this. Better than him.


End file.
